Ellie's circle of love

I love Ellie.

She is truly a middle child.

The one that, for the most part, is happy.

Content.

Kind.

Today, I found this in her room.

It wasn't a "normal" paper chain with a clear beginning and ending.

It was her family paper chain.

On each slip of paper was each of our names.

Right there in her second-grade handwriting.

We each had a first name, and we all shared the same last name.

Our shared last name.

Cecil

I love that our family is forever.

I love that she didn't leave anyone out.

John, Laura, A.J., Madison, Easton, Brooke, Ellie, Gabrielle (Gabby's story here and here), Sammy, Annie and Tymber.

All of us together in a link that has no beginning and no end.

Families can be together forever.

Gabby's Day

Today is July 26th.

So many things to so many people, but for our family, a time to remember our little Gabrielle.

I woke this morning to a beautiful newborn.

My eyes were tired, the pain in my body still present from a her being taken by cesarean just seven short days ago.

There she lay, nursing so intently and so warm in my arms.

I looked at her as she smiled slightly, so peaceful and sweet.

Then my thoughts turned to Gabrielle.

Just seven short days ago, and let's face it, maybe even in that smiling moment, Tymber could have been with Gabby and Sam.

I don't claim to know what goes on on both sides of the veil, but I do know that there will be life after death.

A great life.

One filled with time with the little girls we don't have now.

Someone in the hospital last week took a picture of me and my five girls. I just stared at the picture. I couldn't believe it, FIVE girls.

One just as amazing and beautiful as the next.

All five full of potential to be whatever they want to become...loving mothers, doctors, nurses, or Sunbeam teachers.

I know I won't experience Gabrielle the same way that I will live day to day with these five, but I will have a chance to know her.

To feel her presence in my life.

I am so grateful for my memories of her on that beautiful day that her dad and I met her, held her and said goodbye.

I am so grateful for the person she made me become.

I am so grateful for the opportunity to see those around me in my life love our family unconditionally through that trial.

I am so grateful that she made such an impact in my children's lives that they tell strangers in the grocery store that Tymber is our ninth child and not our seventh as they tell them the short story of their two little sisters that have already returned home.

I am grateful that John and I are sealed to our children on both sides of the veil, and the work we faithfully put in to make sure that they all return home to be together as a family someday.

I am grateful, most of all, for my Savior and what he did that makes all of it a reality. No goodbyes forever, just a lifetime of waiting.

We love you sweet girl, thank you for changing all of us for the better.

Happy Day.