Top Three

Ever since I was a kid, I was a "list maker."

I love making lists.

Like many of you, I have even been known to write down something I have already done, just to be able to cross it off.

Lists keep me focused and so happy!

Those same lists that bring me happiness most of the time, also make me feel inadequate as they sit in the planner at the end of each day, not completed.

Several years ago when I was first serving as Relief Society President, I was overwhelmed.

I had five small children, and a ward with 192 women.

I wanted to be there for everyone, everyday.

It was the impossible.

Everyday, I woke up determined to make a list full of everyone's needs and the strong desire to complete that list before bed that night.

Somewhere in my crazy brain, I thought I should be able to accomplish the impossible.

But each night, day after day, night after night, I failed.

Each night, I would kneel next to my bed in prayer, feeling like a failure, knowing I had let someone down. Knowing that the list downstairs had missed something or someone. Wondering is a lonely heart, or a needed word to a child had gone amiss.

It was a horrible feeling.

I started to have insomnia. Sometimes, even crying myself to sleep at the disappointment I felt.

This went on for months. Every morning I would make the list a mile long, (of course adding the ones I had missed the day before.) And every night, the lying in bed wishing I had made that call, or dropped by that sister, or gotten off the phone in time to tuck in one more of the children.

THEN I HAD THE MOMENT...

I was driving home from the temple. (For some reason, it is always the drive home when the magic happens from attending the temple.) I actually even keep a notebook in the front of my temple bag, with a pen, for the drive home.

I had this sane feeling (finally!) that I was trying to do much, and that the Lord had been trying to show me that, but I had kept pushing forward with my nonesense.

From that moment forward, I applied the TOP THREE to my day.

The TOP THREE is simply, getting on my knees each morning and asking the Lord what the three most important things are for me to accomplish that day.

Obviously, there are standards that don't hit the list (that is another post), but usually within being up for a couple of hours, things will rise to the top.

Laura, stop in and see sister _______, or call the girl next door, or make sure you talk to Madie the whole ride to practice tonight.

It was miraculous!

It would happen every single day that I asked.

And guess what also happened...you guessed it...I felt at peace.

I could sleep, I could be happy with my list each day, and anything else that was crossed off...icing on the cake!

I knew that if I hadn't returned that email or phone call, it would be ok.

My prayers had been answered.

My plate is less full with outside responsibilities for the moment, but now that same TOP THREE can be applied to my sweet family, friends I lost touch with, sisters I adore, and neighbors.

It is a priceless gift, to be able to ask for help, feel the prompting, and crawl into bed next to your sweetheart each night knowing you did the best you can.

I still fail when I don't apply the work. I still wish I had caught that teenager, after reading to little ones, before she fell asleep, but it is ok.

"Enduring to the end" is the goal right?

Invisible Mothers

I have a sweet friend who is a single mom to three boys. She works all day and then takes very good care of these three. Often her twin boys ride the home with our 10 year old, and hang at our place until she comes to pick them up.

This is the mom who sees me at the most difficult time of every day. Between 5 and & 6pm!

This is the time when I am usually just trying to keep a smile on my face and keep pushing through. I am trying to balance helping with homework, finishing dinner, running kids to and from practices, and usually trying to listen to each and every one of their "exciting" moments of the day.

She has often arrived when one of the "plates" I am trying to juggle have fallen.

It may be a puppy that is wandering the neighborhood because they slipped out an open door, or cleaning up a mess from the baby, or maybe just watching me keep my head above water.

She never judges.

She never says, "You just are not doing well."

She just picks up a washcloth and wipes the counter, or takes one of my girls by the hand and asks about their day, or just sits and talks to me as I finish dinner.

She doesn't have to.

She has her own dinner to make for her family. I am certain she has her own exhausting stories to tell about her court cases for the day.

But still, she listens.

I have often wondered as she loads up her wonderful boys, "What must she think of me?" That crazy woman her boys want to be around.

Yesterday she sent me this: (I am certain we have all seen this once or twice floating around our email box), but yesterday it meant the world to me.

Invisible Mother.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!

Share this with all the Invisible Moms you know... I just did. The Will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you. This is beautiful and makes a ton of sense. To all the wonderful mothers out there.
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I am in much debt to my invisible Mother..

So, today I would like to share this with all of YOU, "Invisible Mothers."

I know that the Lord sees what we are doing and believes in us.

He has showed us the plan, and this is one of our parts of that marvelous plan.

To nurture, to love and to create!

One of my favorite talks by Julie Beck is Mothers Who Know. (www.lds.org)

I love how she lets us know that the Lord values what we are doing above all else.

Among many beautiful things, she gives these points and I just want to reiterate them today.

MOTHERS WHO KNOW BEAR CHILDREN

Whether we have born all of our children ourselves, have been privileged to adopt a child into our lives, or just mother those children around us, we have been blessed. I know that as I embark on welcoming our seventh child, I am reminded daily of how much love each child needs. I am grateful that I have been able to fulfill my dream of having a home full of children, but I also know what work it requires. I also know the pain of bearing a child that I will not raise in this life. I know that this blessing is a privilege.

MOTHERS WHO KNOW HONOR SACRED ORDINANCES AND COVENANTS

How could we not honor those sacred ordinances and covenants and make it? I don't know about you, but if I didn't have the blessings of fidelity, honesty, and the Holy Ghost (just to name a few), I could never do this. I rely on the peace that comes from righteous living. I rely on the Spirit that some days guides my every move. I am so grateful for the promises that come from these covenants with the Lord, and his sacrifice that makes being with my family FOREVER possible.

MOTHERS WHO KNOW ARE NURTURERS

I love that Sister Beck says that it doesn't only mean nurturing our children, but it also means using our homemaking skills and sharing them with our children. A house of order is a seriously "underrated" thing these days. I know this for a fact. I have seen it. I have been privileged to help others organize their lives and homes, and I see the change in the mother as she makes her home a house of order. I have seen countless husbands and children as their eyes lit up at their home being orderly. Almost like a wave of peace and relief.

MOTHERS WHO KNOW ARE LEADERS

There is a blog that I have recently "fallen in love with." Don't tell John, because I don't want him to feel shorted, but I have literally found happiness in my mornings as I have read the things this mother has shared with the world and her family. If you want a peek, check out www.71toes.blogspot.com. This mother is a leader in her home and her community. She is constantly trying to become better. She learns from those around her and shares what she has learned and applied. She is the kind of mother who is an example to all of what an incredible drive to serve her family can produce. Thank you Shawnie for seriously being "contagious!"

MOTHERS WHO KNOW ARE TEACHERS

I love that we can be teachers to our children. We can influence them on everything on how we treat people around us, to how we pray, and many more things. I love the moments when I take the time to stop what I am doing, and teach one of my children something. A few years ago my children had an elderly bus driver who seemed to be grumpy EVERY single day. He never greeted the children with a hello, never smiled and never had anything nice to say. I watched each day as our children loaded and unloaded from his bus. I waved, I smiled...but nothing. I told the kids to just be good and it would all be ok. As the months went on, I could see this man's long face and wanted to help. Both for his sake and our kids. One day as we jumped right in the car to head to a practice, they were particularly upset because he had been so mean. Then out of nowhere, the "mom moment." The moment where you know just what to say, and it is received on the other end. I proceeded to talk to them about the fact that this man was as old as their Papa. How do you think Papa would feel everyday if he had to wake well before the sun, drive to the bus station and warm up the bus, and then go around picking up teenagers who were may have been disrespectful, young children who were loud and wouldn't stay in their seats and he had to do it everyday? There minds got it. I could see the sadness for him in their eyes. What could we do as a family to make his life better? We brainstormed for a short while, and then decided to try it. It was magic! That man took less than a week to get a smile out of. He waved to me on the porch, and on a few occasions, waited several minutes as we looked for missing shoes or backpacks. That teaching moment was a success! They are not always so successful, but they are certainly worth doing.

MOTHERS WHO KNOW DO LESS

What is the saying, "Less is more." Amen brother! But how hard is that to really practice? We all want to accomplish so much. We are all overacheivers in some way or another. I just have to ask myself, usually everyday, what is most important. Do that! Follow the Spirit!

MOTHERS WHO KNOW STAND STRONG AND IMMOVABLE

I am often asked, "How do you do it with so many kids?" My response usually is, "Not well." I may not be doing it well, but I am doing it. Every day I try. Every day I try to be better. Everyday I wake up loving being a mother, and determined to be there for my family. I am always happy to report to strangers how much I love being a mother to so many. It is hard work, and I will never will a prize or accolades, but I will see my children as they grow into these amazing people I know that they are destined to become. I can't wait to see each of my daughters as they bear children of their own. As each one of the children report home after their missions. Even the really small things, like watching the 7 year old teach the baby how to put her pjs on.

I love being a mother. I love the trials that make me want to improve and the successes that seem to push me to keep going.

I am thankful to all the examples around me that I can learn from. You probably have no idea the influence you are in my lives, but you are. You make me want to be the mother who takes care of her body so I am strong enough to care for them. You make me want to be the mother that cuddles in bed with them each night as we read bedtime stories. You make me want to be the mother that records and shares my feelings about this sacred calling. Thank you!

Laura

Love Notes

Happy Valentines' Day!!

I love this holiday just for the simple reason that we get to be cheesy with our teenagers' lunches, see our kids in their classrooms decorated in red and pink, and tell our sweethearts over and over how much we love them.

The showing and telling of love should happen everyday, but v-day just makes it perfect!

The thing that I love is the "love notes."

John and I are simple.

We usually don't dress up and spend money on a fancy dinner and flowers.

We usually go somewhere simple, maybe even days before and have dinner, just the two of us. Then we have heart-shaped pizza with the kiddos.

This year we had pizza at our friends' home and celebrated the day with a FHE consisting of a fondue party.

Very fun, and a little messy with 11 kids.

But the little thing that I love the most, that happen sometimes even on other days, are the little love notes we share with each other.

They may say something very small like, "Thanks for hanging in there with me." Or, "Thanks for being my love for this life AND the next."

But sometimes they are really the deep things that we feel that just need to be written down for that love.

Not too long ago, we switch out some dressers in our room. As I methodically moved one old drawer's contents to the new drawer, I came across one of these love notes.

I had written it to John a few years ago. I sat down on the floor and began to read it. Most of the things I had included, I had since forgotten. Like the day to day craziness we were living at the time, or the sweet little thing he had done for me that week. I sat there on that floor, surrounded by the mess of redoing a room, and wept.

I thought about our love and our life together. I thought about the trials we had endured, and the joys we had shared together.

So on this Valentines' Day, take a minute and write a quick love note to the ones you love, or leave them a novel.

Just do it!

~Laura

Annie made me LAUGH

It is Saturday morning.

The only morning, I might add that I don't have to be the first one out of bed.

Saturday is the day that John takes A.J. to his early morning baseball conditioning, so I can just soak up the warmth of our bed and dream for just a little longer.

It is the morning that he gets up with the puppy to take her out and feed her to stop the barking.

I love Saturdays.

Well, today was no such Saturday.

Today, Annie decided to get up with John and be up for the day.

She was all smiles when she brought me the book, Dinosaurs Roar, that she wanted read (with great sound effects of course.)

We read it. Not once, but twice.

It seemed fine. I was still in my warm bed, snuggling with cute Annie, until she said, "I'm hungry."

Off to the kitchen we went. This, is where the laughter occurred if I haven't lost you yet.

The TOP photo is what she was supposed to be eating. Delicious Golden Grahams with perfectly chilled skim milk.

However, her eyes caught sight of these BELOW, and then the breakfast plans changed.

I told her she could not have Fun Dips for breakfast, and quickly grabbed them.

She then, hopped down from the stool, walked over and picked up the phone, and with complete disgust in her voice said, "I'M CALLING DAD!"

She is TWO. Where do they learn this? Oh yeah, I am pretty sure I have used the same tactic when one of her older siblings was being naughty.

I seriously laughed out loud! Not a little lol, a huge one. So funny!

She is smiling here, but she was so serious!

Too cute!

Ellie is 7 on the 7th!!

Look who turned SEVEN! I really cannot believe it! It seems like just last year that we were at one of your brother's basketball games, and they called and said I could come in and be induced the next day.

Ellie is still amazing! Just like she was in kindergarten. Not in a perfect way, but in a really likable way.

Her teacher loves her. If she needs something done, she just tells Ellie. That way she doesn't have to repeat anything over and over again.

She is still a really big helper at home. Still young, but always willing.

She loves to read. She will find any book in the home (usually ones beyond her reading level) and she will proceed to patiently read through page by page.

She had a rough year with injuries. You can see a slight scar on her left cheek from crashing and burning on the dog's ceramic food bowl. She also was daring enough to have her share of bumps and bruises, and was usually wearing that sweet smile just minutes later.

She loves helping in the kitchen. I often hear, "Mom, what are you making? Can I crack the eggs? Can I stir it?" I love the help, and she is really learning how to do things. Maybe she can take over for me in a few years.

She loves her dad! Any chance she gets, she is with her dad. He is her Primary teacher this year, and when you hear her talk about him, you would think he was the Prophet. She just absolutely adores him. When he travels, there is usually something of Ellie's stowed away in his suitcase to remind him of home.

Ellie, you are wonderful! You are starting to really get a voice and give your opinion which is great, most of the time. You are simple and beautiful! I try to have you all dolled up for school in flowers and ribbons, but you know that accessories aren't necessary. You are a great friend. Kids in your class are attracted to your kindness and example.

Happy Birthday cute Ellie Jane!

Next year is the BIG one! Dressed in white with your dad by your side!

Love you,

MOM

Priceless Friends...Big Shoes to Fill

This week has been such that every day I have been reminded of just how blessed I am to have amazing friends.

My mother has often told me that I have always been blessed to be surrounded by wonderful friends.

She said that when I wrote home from college. She felt the same way when I brought our first baby home. She repeated that same comment when she would visit me in California.

And now, she feels like I have the opportunity to live near her, but still be surrounded by amazing friends.

I agree.

These friends are not just amazing in the ways the world would look at them, but they are particularly extraordinary in Heavenly Father's eyes.

They have testimonies that touch everyone around them. They are kind in their delivery of much needed advice. They are willing to literally mourn with you, and buoy you up in a moments notice. They worry about you, and love you. They are the kind that you walk away from just wanting to be a better mother and wife.

Each of these close friends have blessed me so much. This week in particular, I have felt their love. I have felt their love through phone calls, visits, comments, and even "threads." The really great ones were holding their breath, just like me, as I went to an ultrasound to check on the baby. These are the same ones who knew that this would be the ultrasound to see if this baby would make it here to stay.

One friend called to see how I was and just listened, and listened, and listened. She had a little moment of her own to discuss, but she just listened anyway. She is always there though not in person.

Another friend was there. Just there. She knew that I might really need her this week, so she was just available, and let me know.

Another occasion, I was surrounded by friends who are just smart and funny. They are also extraordinary mothers who are willing to share the successes and the mishaps. They are wise and kind. A wonderful combination!

Then there were the friends that were far away, but upon hearing the good news that our family received about our newest little one, commented with excitement or maybe just a "thumbs up- like!"

I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for the blessings in my life. And this week...all of those friends. The ones whose shoes I could never fill, but that bless my life as I try to emulate all they represent.

Thank you to every one of you! I love you!

~Laura

Look what we are having...another GIRL!!

It's a GIRL!! I would show you the actual picture of proof, but for some reason it just seems wrong.

She is so cute! Look at her! If I turn the picture right side up, she looks just like Annie. Too fun!

Many of you know that I seriously told the big man upstairs that I would love to have a house full of boys.

Now, as I embark on having another little girl join our crew, I am so thrilled.

Something happened a few weeks ago when I realized that having another girl was a very strong possibility. I thought about the five of them becoming mothers. The thoughts that crowded my mind of grandchildren, missions, college graduations, and hopefully, many phone calls for opinions and ideas just brought light to my eyes and literally, warmth to my heart.

These girls are going to be extraordinary. They are so far beyond where I was at their age. Their testimonies, their hair-styling abilities, and even their brilliance far surpass anything I was. They are helpful, wonderful and challenging. They are also surrounded by all of your girls who are equally extraordinary. I love it!

I have no idea what this little one's name will be, or what color her eyes will bare, but I do know that she will be loved.

I am so grateful and feel so blessed.

Grow baby grow. We can't wait to meet you!

~Laura