Missing them already...

On Tuesday of this week, Madie had her last "first day of school", Brooke had her last "first day of school' as a middle-schooler, Ellie had her first "first day of school" at a brand new school for her, and Annie started kindergarten.

I know that A.J. started college in June, Easton will start high school next Monday, and Tymber will go to preschool starting in September, but I am NOT ready.

I am NOT ready to let them go to school!

I will miss letting them sleep as long as their bodies and minds would let them.

I will miss letting them stay up late fishing together, hanging with friends, and eating until midnight. (ok, I might not miss making them an extra meal everyday about 10:15pm.)

I will miss watching them come up with creative ways to spend their summer days.

Like making things from You Tube videos, trying out new hairstyles, taking runs, making bike jumps of the front walkway, digging in the sand, and swimming.  Lots and lots of swimming.

I know, deep down, that once school starts, that life is filled with early morning wake up calls, breakfast in the dark, long days filled with challenging classes, homework galore, after school activities that push dinner to 8pm if we want to eat together, or crock-pot dishes that we eat as we trickle back in the house, and stricter bedtimes to help with those early mornings.

I know that school means more structure, and possibly a much cleaner and organized home, but I will miss them.

I will miss hearing them discuss life. 

I will miss listening to them as they resolve being bored with a quick trip to 7-11 or the grocery store for a treat.

I will miss it all.

I have my crazy to-do lists ready.

I have my exercise schedule booked in my planner.

I have grand plans of decorating the house for Fall on September 1st, a homemade donut recipe ready for October (national donut month, and one of my favorite months of the year,) and completing shopping and Christmas cards before Thanksgiving, but I would trade them all to spend another week at the lake with my family.

I would give anything to have everyone little again.  

All curled up in my bed, begging for breakfast, books, and the park.

I am excited about this time in all of our kids' lives.

I just wish it would SLOW down!

After saying goodbye to the four girls on Tuesday, I walked inside to see the sign pictured above taped to my "Projects" lists.

I just began to cry.

I feel so inadequate most days.

I feel like a terrible mother other days.

I have days when I want to be better at so many more things.

But, for that moment, reading those words, I knew I was loved and that every moment I have spent loving and teaching my children, is worth it.

There is nothing I would rather do.

There is no one I would rather be.

My kids have energy, talents and challenges that are overwhelming to both them and me sometimes, but together we CAN DO THIS!

So to A.J., Madison, Easton, Brooke, Ellie, Annie and Tymber...

Thank you for choosing me to be your mother.

Thank you for blessing my life just by knowing each of you.

Thank you for challenging me in ways I thought I could never handle.

Thank you for being brave and showing me new things.

But thank you, most of all, for trusting and loving me.

I love you!

I know that your teachers and coaches get you most of the day now, but I will love being with you each night!